I don't know how many of you have a loved one serving in Iraq, either with the military or as a contractor but I imagine there are many of you who share this one thing in common with me. There is someone I care for deeply who is working as a contractor in Iraq. I hear from him occasionally but not often enough to ease my fears. At times I ask myself if it is worth having this relationship. The pain caused by his continuous absense sometimes makes me feel like it is far too much to bear.
There are some days when I actually forget I have someone to love simply because you just grow so increasingly used to not having someone around that it just becomes second nature to be alone. Does that mean I don't love him? I don't think so. For me, it means I am more and more alone everyday. I liken the feeling to the same feeling I have at losing my father to heart disease this past month. It doesn't get easier to handle the loss, you just keep going one day at a time and pretty soon, the pain gets to be less and less. It doesn't mean that I didn't love my father, it simply means I am dealing.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
February 19, 2008-Annoying People
The day was supposed to be a great day for me. Ordinarily at the beginning of the week I wake up early enough to run my two mile run, have a coffee, shower, get dressed and meet a colleague to carpool to work. Not today. It just didn't happen that way. I'm not sure why I was so annoyed by all the people standing in my way but I was and now I'm in great need to vent.
The morning started with a light and easy jog on an old route. Not my usual one, but one I use for my two mile training run when I'm prepping for my PT test. About a mile out I needed to cross a street. At the same time a couple was walking right into my path. They saw me coming but continued to stay in my path rather than moving over to make room. This was not a big deal, I can always run around I thought. Seeing that they were pretty much going to stay put I decided to move slightly to the left to go around them. As I did, the female shoves the male directly into my path causing me to trip and fall to my knees. They giggled and seemed annoyed at having to share the path with me. Perhaps they felt I was too thin and their being of the obese nature should have free reighn over all sidewalks and paths in the city.
Finished my run at a reasonable time despite the tripping incident. Arrived at home and poured my coffee only to find there was no low fat milk to enhance the flavor of my very strong brew. This is obviously the fault of my three nearly grown sons who bunk up in my house rent free and forget on many occasion to replenish whatever it is they may empty to include the milk. It's a small inconvience but I still sit it up there with failure to replenish the toilet paper roll when it's been all used up. I am forced to use the super loaded with calories creamer my son usually uses. Not so much that I mind that, the creamer acts as a sweetener also. But that great calorie burning run seems like a cake walk instead now.
On the way to my colleagues house for the carpool, three individual commuters blocked all three lanes with their slow moving cars on the main thoroughfare doing only 50 mph. No one could get around them as they had all three lanes blocked in a 65 mph zone. Traffic began to back up and more cars began to flow into the choke hold until an exit became available.
Then there was work. There are some people in the world who have a great need for power. I am not one of those people. I hold in my head the belief that people will do exactly what you want them to do if you put it to them clearly, plainly and with tact. Most do as you ask simply because of their work ethic is such that they believe this is the price you pay to get ahead. Then there are those whom feel they should be on the top from the get go.
I work with a woman who has a good work ethic but lives for power. She has this need to rule everyone in her path, even though she is the lowest ranking person in her environment. I am one of her superiors. She regularly attempts to tell me what my job is. At which time I must stop what I am doing to educate her on the civilian rank structure. This is something I have to do often as she never seems to listen to what it is you're saying.
This is not her only annoying habit, there are others. While engrossed in conversation she will repeat a phrase over and over until you feel it grating deeply into your skin to catch what is left of your very last nerve. Further, you must sit and listen to every miniscule feat or accomplishment she has had since waking in the wee hours of the morning, none of which include anything remotely important to you personally. Truly this is a sad situation, obviously she is someone who needs the attention or has the need to feel important. After sliding into the position of authority that I hold I sensed that this woman was annoyed that I had been chosen for the position she felt far more suited for. I now believe she wants to simply run me off by being the most annoying individual I will have ever come to know.
Annoying behavior lent itself to everyone today it seems. Upon returning home from work as I prepared for a conference call, there came knocking on my front door. It was a salesperson, clearly ignoring the sign posted to my front fence that reads "no soliciting". She immediately launches into her spiel to sell her little spray bottle of miracle cleaner, which consists of a mix of long scientific names which cover up the fact that she is holding a bottle of baking soda, salt and water. She begins to spray the outside windows. After wiping it down with a soiled cloth she proceeds to demonstrate that this window will never need to be cleaned again because it leaves your windows streak free unable to hold the oils of little hands that may seek to destroy it's pristeen beauty. She then moves to my kitchen, spraying the floor and wiping it up to convince me I will never have to get on my hands and knees again to scrub the floors, as if I do that now. Asking her to get to the point, the price of this magic cleaning solution will cost me only $40 for a quart or I go for the real savings and purchase a gallon of this mix for the great price of $70. Now I don't know what these people are thinking. Dress up some baking soda and salt in a bottle of water and call it a miracle tea all you want, I'm not stupid enough to hand over my hard earned cash to someone who shows up at my door with no car, no supplies other than the bottled cleaning fluid and a rag, no order forms or cards, nothing. What am I? How stupid are people really? The only thing I can figure is that someone, somewhere along the line has fallen for this snake oil song and dance before. Do you think they would be out in our neighborhoods selling this if they had no audience? I don't think so.
I have a feeling that annoyance will not end with this day. I'm sure there will be others waiting for me to cross their path tomorrow and other days to come. If that's the case I will have far more to complain about as this is by far one of my biggest pet peaves.
The morning started with a light and easy jog on an old route. Not my usual one, but one I use for my two mile training run when I'm prepping for my PT test. About a mile out I needed to cross a street. At the same time a couple was walking right into my path. They saw me coming but continued to stay in my path rather than moving over to make room. This was not a big deal, I can always run around I thought. Seeing that they were pretty much going to stay put I decided to move slightly to the left to go around them. As I did, the female shoves the male directly into my path causing me to trip and fall to my knees. They giggled and seemed annoyed at having to share the path with me. Perhaps they felt I was too thin and their being of the obese nature should have free reighn over all sidewalks and paths in the city.
Finished my run at a reasonable time despite the tripping incident. Arrived at home and poured my coffee only to find there was no low fat milk to enhance the flavor of my very strong brew. This is obviously the fault of my three nearly grown sons who bunk up in my house rent free and forget on many occasion to replenish whatever it is they may empty to include the milk. It's a small inconvience but I still sit it up there with failure to replenish the toilet paper roll when it's been all used up. I am forced to use the super loaded with calories creamer my son usually uses. Not so much that I mind that, the creamer acts as a sweetener also. But that great calorie burning run seems like a cake walk instead now.
On the way to my colleagues house for the carpool, three individual commuters blocked all three lanes with their slow moving cars on the main thoroughfare doing only 50 mph. No one could get around them as they had all three lanes blocked in a 65 mph zone. Traffic began to back up and more cars began to flow into the choke hold until an exit became available.
Then there was work. There are some people in the world who have a great need for power. I am not one of those people. I hold in my head the belief that people will do exactly what you want them to do if you put it to them clearly, plainly and with tact. Most do as you ask simply because of their work ethic is such that they believe this is the price you pay to get ahead. Then there are those whom feel they should be on the top from the get go.
I work with a woman who has a good work ethic but lives for power. She has this need to rule everyone in her path, even though she is the lowest ranking person in her environment. I am one of her superiors. She regularly attempts to tell me what my job is. At which time I must stop what I am doing to educate her on the civilian rank structure. This is something I have to do often as she never seems to listen to what it is you're saying.
This is not her only annoying habit, there are others. While engrossed in conversation she will repeat a phrase over and over until you feel it grating deeply into your skin to catch what is left of your very last nerve. Further, you must sit and listen to every miniscule feat or accomplishment she has had since waking in the wee hours of the morning, none of which include anything remotely important to you personally. Truly this is a sad situation, obviously she is someone who needs the attention or has the need to feel important. After sliding into the position of authority that I hold I sensed that this woman was annoyed that I had been chosen for the position she felt far more suited for. I now believe she wants to simply run me off by being the most annoying individual I will have ever come to know.
Annoying behavior lent itself to everyone today it seems. Upon returning home from work as I prepared for a conference call, there came knocking on my front door. It was a salesperson, clearly ignoring the sign posted to my front fence that reads "no soliciting". She immediately launches into her spiel to sell her little spray bottle of miracle cleaner, which consists of a mix of long scientific names which cover up the fact that she is holding a bottle of baking soda, salt and water. She begins to spray the outside windows. After wiping it down with a soiled cloth she proceeds to demonstrate that this window will never need to be cleaned again because it leaves your windows streak free unable to hold the oils of little hands that may seek to destroy it's pristeen beauty. She then moves to my kitchen, spraying the floor and wiping it up to convince me I will never have to get on my hands and knees again to scrub the floors, as if I do that now. Asking her to get to the point, the price of this magic cleaning solution will cost me only $40 for a quart or I go for the real savings and purchase a gallon of this mix for the great price of $70. Now I don't know what these people are thinking. Dress up some baking soda and salt in a bottle of water and call it a miracle tea all you want, I'm not stupid enough to hand over my hard earned cash to someone who shows up at my door with no car, no supplies other than the bottled cleaning fluid and a rag, no order forms or cards, nothing. What am I? How stupid are people really? The only thing I can figure is that someone, somewhere along the line has fallen for this snake oil song and dance before. Do you think they would be out in our neighborhoods selling this if they had no audience? I don't think so.
I have a feeling that annoyance will not end with this day. I'm sure there will be others waiting for me to cross their path tomorrow and other days to come. If that's the case I will have far more to complain about as this is by far one of my biggest pet peaves.
Monday, February 18, 2008
February 18, 2008-House Hunting
Living in San Diego county provides lots of warmth and freedom this time of year. No doubt when the sun shines and the weather starts to warm up, people come out of doors to soak it all up. I tend to roam around alot once it starts to warm up, so that sparked my interest in looking for a house to purchase.
That's exactly how I spent this federal holiday. Driving around looking at homes for sale. Now mind you, my price range is not that large. In fact it's rather meager considering I live in California. My search often begins with looking online for a home that fits my search criteria. Two plus bedrooms with a one plus bath is my minimum search. Laundry room and garage would be wonderful to have as well and I'm looking forward to staying home to do laundry as opposed to spending an entire Sunday gathering, sorting, transporting and actually doing the laundry at a laundromat filled with strangers who would rather be doing something else. So laundry room and garage sits top on the list as must haves. I will even give up square footage in my bedroom for it.
Before clicking the search button on a popular real estate websearch engine, I need to designate exactly how much I'm willing to spend for the luxury that homeownership brings. Many agents have scoffed at me when I tell them this part. My price range is miniscule in comparison with most Californians. I'm looking for my 2 bedroom/1.5 bath detached house with laundry room and garage for 160-190k.
Yes, that's right. I'm asking for the world and thinking I will only have to pay pennies for it. I know that because the real estate search engine practically chokes in its search for that criteria. It usually finds a mere two or three pages of purchase candidates. After eagerly writing down the addresses and directions, my sons and I pile into the car and set off to check out the neighborhoods. Now, you're probably asking yourself right about now why I haven't allowed a real estate agent to take me around. I have. I wasn't too happy with the times that were being set up to view a house.
Usually the agent will set up a time that falls in the middle of the workday. I began to realize that there weren't a whole lot of cars in the driveways of surrounding homes, so this got me to thinking that perhaps I should try viewing neighborhoods during the weekends. I found that beginning the weekends, starting with Friday night and ending with late Sunday mornings were the perfect times to get a feel for the surrounding neighborhood of the home you're looking to buy.
Considering my price range, those are the perfect times to go have a look. As it turns out, the agents were taking me homeviewing during the middle of the day when most people are at work or busy running errands. The weekends allow you to see the neighborhood fully populated. Why bother to see the inside of the house if the neighbors are sprawled out in the yards and streets looking horribly suspicious dressed in gangland garb?
Things I look for in a good neighborhood are people exercising freely, walking their dogs, doing yardwork or even having a barbeque. Washing and waxing the car is usually a good sign, but if you have your shirt buttoned up to your neck with a bandana around your head that would give me cause for concern. I don't want to live in fear and seeing grown men without children and who are not engaged in a friendly game of tackle football frequenting a childrens park in the middle of the day or weekend makes me incredibly uneasy.
I'm not looking for a home just to invest. I'm looking for a home to live in. A home I can finish raising my sons in and a home I will feel completely if not nearly safe in. Most of the neighborhoods I look in have low priced housing, primarily duplexes. I suspect these homes are investment homes used as rentals. My uncle, a real estate investor, warns that these are not homes you want to live in. These areas are uncontrollable and not for people who wish to raise families. They are usually rented to low income families and sometimes house anywhere between one and three families in a unit meant to house only one family.
I'm getting a good look at the struggle to better my housing situation. It won't be easy and enlisting the help of a real estate agent will defininetly ease some worries and fears. Home ownership is just around the corner, I feel it in my bones. In the meantime, I continue to save my money in hopes of making a larger downpayment on a nicer home. One in which I feel comfortable and happy. Who knows, things change daily and tomorrow will bring something new I'm sure. I eagerly await to see what tomorrow brings.
That's exactly how I spent this federal holiday. Driving around looking at homes for sale. Now mind you, my price range is not that large. In fact it's rather meager considering I live in California. My search often begins with looking online for a home that fits my search criteria. Two plus bedrooms with a one plus bath is my minimum search. Laundry room and garage would be wonderful to have as well and I'm looking forward to staying home to do laundry as opposed to spending an entire Sunday gathering, sorting, transporting and actually doing the laundry at a laundromat filled with strangers who would rather be doing something else. So laundry room and garage sits top on the list as must haves. I will even give up square footage in my bedroom for it.
Before clicking the search button on a popular real estate websearch engine, I need to designate exactly how much I'm willing to spend for the luxury that homeownership brings. Many agents have scoffed at me when I tell them this part. My price range is miniscule in comparison with most Californians. I'm looking for my 2 bedroom/1.5 bath detached house with laundry room and garage for 160-190k.
Yes, that's right. I'm asking for the world and thinking I will only have to pay pennies for it. I know that because the real estate search engine practically chokes in its search for that criteria. It usually finds a mere two or three pages of purchase candidates. After eagerly writing down the addresses and directions, my sons and I pile into the car and set off to check out the neighborhoods. Now, you're probably asking yourself right about now why I haven't allowed a real estate agent to take me around. I have. I wasn't too happy with the times that were being set up to view a house.
Usually the agent will set up a time that falls in the middle of the workday. I began to realize that there weren't a whole lot of cars in the driveways of surrounding homes, so this got me to thinking that perhaps I should try viewing neighborhoods during the weekends. I found that beginning the weekends, starting with Friday night and ending with late Sunday mornings were the perfect times to get a feel for the surrounding neighborhood of the home you're looking to buy.
Considering my price range, those are the perfect times to go have a look. As it turns out, the agents were taking me homeviewing during the middle of the day when most people are at work or busy running errands. The weekends allow you to see the neighborhood fully populated. Why bother to see the inside of the house if the neighbors are sprawled out in the yards and streets looking horribly suspicious dressed in gangland garb?
Things I look for in a good neighborhood are people exercising freely, walking their dogs, doing yardwork or even having a barbeque. Washing and waxing the car is usually a good sign, but if you have your shirt buttoned up to your neck with a bandana around your head that would give me cause for concern. I don't want to live in fear and seeing grown men without children and who are not engaged in a friendly game of tackle football frequenting a childrens park in the middle of the day or weekend makes me incredibly uneasy.
I'm not looking for a home just to invest. I'm looking for a home to live in. A home I can finish raising my sons in and a home I will feel completely if not nearly safe in. Most of the neighborhoods I look in have low priced housing, primarily duplexes. I suspect these homes are investment homes used as rentals. My uncle, a real estate investor, warns that these are not homes you want to live in. These areas are uncontrollable and not for people who wish to raise families. They are usually rented to low income families and sometimes house anywhere between one and three families in a unit meant to house only one family.
I'm getting a good look at the struggle to better my housing situation. It won't be easy and enlisting the help of a real estate agent will defininetly ease some worries and fears. Home ownership is just around the corner, I feel it in my bones. In the meantime, I continue to save my money in hopes of making a larger downpayment on a nicer home. One in which I feel comfortable and happy. Who knows, things change daily and tomorrow will bring something new I'm sure. I eagerly await to see what tomorrow brings.
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